We have the belief that having a long distance relationship is the path to failure. That we better broke up before ending up in distance. Well I can tell you how to succeed but it is 100% a couple’s job.
A temporary distance
Meaning that you have been together but work or any special cause separated you. This is the most common long distance relationship. It happens all the time and it is nobodies fault.
The first thing to do when having to be separated is to remove the belief that it won’t work. During the time a part you need to be honest and communicate as much as you can. Having a positive attitude is key. If you start being negative all the time about anything,I assure you it won’t work.
Things to avoid
- Blaming everything that is going on in your life to the distance will send you directly to a failure. Remember that all things that happen in your life have a reason of being and its not your partner’s fault.
- Thinking that having a long distance relationship is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. Because if you think that way, you will feel sorry for yourself. You will start justifying your mistakes as a reason of being separated.
- To only focus on the negative things. I’ve been in this situation before, I used to see only the negative part of the story. “If only you where here”. I couldn’t go there or do that because I’m alone”. Don’t do it! Ever!!
- Comparing relationships. Let’s have it clear… every relationship is different. There is a different story, with different characters, in a different environment. Don’t try to blame your partner because he/she left and other partners aren’t doing it. “My friends boyfriend or husband is all the time with her/him.”
Divorces or splits happen to long distance relationships??
This is definitely not true. When a couple is destined to failure it won’t matter where do they live. Divorces are caused by many reasons like lack of communication, lack of trust, misunderstanding, etc. but never by distance. If a couple is really in love like they say, they can stand anything. Even better, if you love your partner so much you are going to be happy for him if he had to go live somewhere because of a big opportunity.
Insecure, envious and fake relationships are the ones that get mad when big opportunities show up.
This kind of relationship is not for anyone..
I have said before that a long distance relationship is not the end of the world and that it won’t lead to failure if we don’t want it to. I have to ad that this is not a kind of relationship for everybody. Why? Because there are certain people, who believe something that can’t work in a relationship.
Who can’t be on this long distance relationship??
Insecure people, won’t last in a long distance relationship. People who think that they NEED someone by their side to survive life. That is the kind of person who has try to work on their self esteem first in order to have a relationship. Because the truth is they won’t last on ANY relationship at all.
Anxious people is also a kind that can’t be a part of this. Anxious people have no patience and no tolerance, they won’t understand if their couple have a problem or couldn’t come to visit. They are full of prejudice and this would mean they will think the worst of anything.
The ones who need to be loved– Some people can’t love themselves or value themselves and they need someone to tell them how much they are worth. They believe that they couldn’t live without the other person. This kind of person is so desperate of love that they hold on to an ideal and maybe a relationship that isn’t working because they believe they aren’t capable of finding someone else.
The truth about all this kinds is that the relationship is working even before the distance. I believe it wasn’t working because one of the member wasn’t right. If a relationship is supposed to work, first the two have to be healthy, solid and lovable people.
I know I love you but in order to love you I have to love myself first!
Why famous people’s relationships are led to failure??
When I see a famous couple getting marry I almost never believe it will last. For me most of famous people have wild turbulent lives that reflect in their relationship.
Many famous people are good with themselves, maybe because they really don’t know what they want in life. or its that they know they can have anything they want and their relationship is another whim.
It also could be that they don’t know each other, they have so complicated lives that they can barely talk and are strangers to on another. So, by getting marry they could get to know each other? I don’t think so.
Having kids is the answer to the problem?
I have a long distance relationship, or I have a marriage that isn’t working… I think kids would be the solution??
Well this is definitely not true and will only get thinks worse. Why? Because know you can’t act like a teenager and be ruffled. You can’t act without thinking and fight all day. You also have to stop your nomad life, and settle somewhere to raise kids. Having Kids means living life with a different purpose and direction If you are not ready to do that, why would you think having them will be the solution to your problems??
My own conclusion
My conclusion is that first we need to work on ourselves, be confident of who we are, what we are and who we will be with. Know which kind of person is the right one for us, and don’t settling for less.
Have space, let your love one life their life and also life yours, don’t stop your life or dreams and only let him/her continue theirs. Grow and learn together, the most successful couples I know, understand that life is a journey and we need to continue growing.
Never forget the teenager habits. Not because you are too old, or too busy stop giving your couple presents, taking them to the movies or making them dinner. Never turn off the illusion and hope.